BIG BOOB BIG BATTLE
by Hawkmamaknows
Summary: As Elizabeth races to help the citizens of Lioness, she encounters the deadly Commandment Derrierie. But Derrierie shares a secret with her that could tear them both apart.


HAWK MAMA SAD

HAWK MAMA NO FEEL GOOD

HAWK MAMA GET PUNCHED IN STOMACH BY NO CLOTHES SHORT HAIR DEMON

HAWK MAMA HAT GET SMASHED

NOW BLONDE DEMON AND BIG BOOBS HAVE NO PLACE FOR LOVE LOVE

BEST BOY GOT KICKED INTO NEXT CENTURY

BEST BOY ATE RED DEMON

HAWK MAMA SAYS THANK YOU TO REVIEWERS: CERULEAN GRACE, CATH PENDRAGON, FANFICLOVE2014, MARLIN, IGLUTTONI, ESCAVORE, AND DEMON BARBIE

HAWK MAMA MUST FIND BEST BOY AND NEW HAT

* * *

The sun was shining, the kingdom was being pillaged and destroyed, and Derriere's heart plummeted as her eyes turned into tiny little dots of pure rage. That face staring up at her... She had seen that surprised face before. It was lifetimes ago, but she would never, ever ever _ever_ forget that face.

She dropped to the ground, Monspiet calling from above her as she lands, or rather, lands on the giant green pig, and stared at the other woman only inches away. Squinting because sometimes her eyesight wasn't perfect, my ass. Same large bright eyes, same bone structure, same long silver hair. Same stupid big lips. Same stupid big tits. How could she be here? How, after all this time?

" _You_ ," she practically spat at the girl. "What the _fuck_ are _you_ doing here?"

"Wh- what?" Elizabeth fights the urge to take a step back. Goddamn it, alright, this girl was a close talker. Their boobs were almost touching. "I… think you have me mistaken? With someone else?" How would this Commandment know who she was? Elizabeth had been long gone before the others arrived to battle Meliodas.

Derrierie stared at her. Was this girl kidding? She was about to call her out when she noticed the Holy Knight behind her, rushing forward, yelling " _RRAAaaaaAAAAuuuuuUUUUUggggHHH!_ "

"That's annoying," Derrierie muttered, throwing out her arm. Her demon powers flew out and punched the knight, knocking him backwards. "That's one." She pushed around the girl, punching him again in the stomach. "Two." But as she raised her fist to throw another punch, her hand began to burn.

"How can you do this?" Elizabeth said behind her. "How can you take people's lives so carelessly, without any remorse?"

Derrierie turned around slowly. She watched as giant tears rolled down the girl's idiotic face. "It is you."

"Stop being an _asshole!"_ Elizabeth yelled, stomping a foot, and Hawk Mama KUUGOOS as she knocks away more demons. Suddenly, light began to glow around her, and she raised her palms up, pointing them at the Commandment. Derrierie raised her hand in horror, and watched as the flesh and muscle disintegrated in moments, leaving nothing but a skeleton.

"Oh, you bitch," Derrierie said slowly. "You dirty, fucking bitch."

Elizabeth continued to cry, the light getting brighter from her hands. "Don't call me a bitch, you whore!"

"There's no mistaking it now," Derrierie replied. "I fucking knew it was you."

Derrierie reached backwards, just as Elizabeth screamed, "S-stop! Please!"

"You are so dead!" she screamed. She grabbed a glass of wine and splashed it right into Elizabeth's face.

Elizabeths sputtered, looking at her in shock. "You- you- _bitch_."

Zaratras, meanwhile, was struggling to his feet, clutching his stomach as he bled internally. Monspiet, who had been watching from the air, floated down next to him. "What's happening?" Zaratras asked, confused.

"I think… I think they are about to have a girl fight," Monspiet answers.

**GIRL FIGHT GO**

Derrierie slipped off her rings, tossing them off the side of Hawk Mama, while Elizabeth removed her earrings and stepped out of her stilettos. She pulls off her one stocking, "You're about to die," Derrierie promised, licking her fingers and pushing her eyebrows down.

"Make me, whore," Elizabeth answered. She reached up under her hair and quickly tugged her weave out. She threw it into the air, and like a tumbleweave in the wind, it rolled around on the breeze before landing on Zaratras' head.

"Who you calling whore, bitch?"

"Who you calling bitch, slut?"

"A slut?" Derrierie threw back her head and laughed. "I'm sorry, who's the slut? You're running around in a house full of men and sleeping with a midget."

Elizabeth gasped. "Are you fucking serious right now? With the way you're dressed?" She looked Derrierie up and down and scoffed. "Sorry _not_ sorry."

"You wanna talk about how you're dressed?" Derrierie screeched. "Is that a skirt or a tube top around your ass?"

"Ooohhhhhh," Monspiet and Zaratras groaned together. Monspiet pulled out some popcorn and offered it to the knight, but Zaratras declined, pulling out his own fish pie to snack on as they watched.

"At least I have an ass," Elizabeth spat back. "And what do you call those mosquito bumps on your chest anyway?"

"Ha!" Derrierie laughed. "Yeah, I guess big tits come in _real_ handy when you're fucking your _dead boyfriend's corpse_!"

Elizabeth gasped, rearing backwards, and lunged forward. She smacked Derrierie soundly across the face. Derrierie whipped her head back around, and smacked Elizabeth across the face. The two girls exchanged blows, one after the other, until both had very red hands and even redder cheeks.

" _I hate you_!" Elizabeth screamed, grabbing Derrierie by her insanely cute new haircut. "I just did her hair!" Monspiet groaned, and they watched as both girls clawed at each other, wrestling one another, both squealing and screaming as they pulled each other's hair.

"Let go!" Elizabeth screamed.

"You let go, you bitch!" Derrierie screamed back.

"How about you learn another insult, cunt!"

"Cunt? At least mine is not _used,_ you pompous little shit!"

"You slutty bitch dumpster!"

"Shut up you white trash!"

"Cock sucker!"

"Let go midget-loving crotch munching bitch!"

"How dare you, you ugly ass-licking fuck!"

She wrenched hard to the side, and both girls tumbled off the back of Hawk Mama. There was more screaming as Zaratras and Monspiet hurried over to the side, peering down. To the delight of both men, the girls had landed in a huge puddle of mud.

"Look what you did you insecure prick!" Elizabeth wailed, frantically wiping mud from her clothes and hair. "My outfit is ruined!"

Derrierie laughed and splashed mud at her. "You are such a stuck-up bitch. You _always_ were a stuck-up bitch. And now you're more of a slimy ugly ass than before."

"What are you _talking_ about?!" Elizabeth shouted, stomping her foot. "I'm fucking delightful!"

"Delightful my ass," Derrierie said, climbing out of the puddle.

"At least I wear real clothes!" Elizabeth yelled back at her, stepping out and already stretching her legs to prepare for more.

Derrierie paused, her hands shaking in anger. Then she turned and yelled, "You're so… fucking… _mean_!" She screamed wildly as she ran, splashing through the puddle, tacking Elizabeth and knocking her over. The two girls fought and clawed at each other, pulling each other's hair and scratching at each other's faces as they rolled down a huge hill, getting covered in dirt and twigs and leaves and rocks and ladybugs and snakes and cigarette butts and bird shit.

"Should we… step in?" Zaratras asked.

Monspiet frowned. Far be it from him to stop a hot girl fight, but this… this was getting nasty. "I guess, It would seem I am in a tight spot here," he sighs, and they hopped down to the ground, both of them hurrying down the hill towards Lioness Castle after the girls, even as Zaratras coughs up up blood.

"You bitch!- You whore- slut! Slut! Slut- Well at least I'm pretty!-" their voices ring out together at the bottom, as they rolled around on the ground, still screaming. "Get off me, bitch!-No, you get off me!-I hate you!" Monspiet grabbed Derrierie and Zaratras grabbed Elizabeth, hauling them off each other. Both girls continued screaming, fighting against the men holding them, trying to run towards each other and clawed the air and kicked and hissed and spat and yelled and snarled and howled and steamed and loudly talked and tried to kill each other with their eyes and yowled and argued and swore and stomped their feet and yanked and tried to squirm free.

"Let me go!" Elizabeth screamed. "I need to shank a bitch!"

"Oh you did _not_ just say that!" Derrierie screamed back, "Oh HELL NAW! IN MY ASS!"

"Ladies, ladies," Zaratras shouted over their banshee-like screeching, "let's all calm down and have a nice hot fish pie."

"Oh, dude," Monspiet said, exasperated as Derrierie threw her arm around the air some more, whacking him against the face, again, while both girls yelled, "Fuck your hot fish pie!"

Monspiet doubled over with laughter, losing his grip on Derrierie. She took the opportunity to wrench out of his hold and rush forward. Suddenly afraid, Zaratras stumbled, and Elizabeth pulled out of his grip and took off running. They watched the two females run towards the castle, sprinting as their howls of pure hatred took over the sky, and Zaratras looked over at Monspiet. "What the hell man?" he asked.

"I'm so sorry," Monspiet gasped. Slapping his knee over and over as he catches his breath. "It's just-you weren't there, Escanor and Estarossa had this whole thing earlier-and then they said fuck your hot pie-I just couldn't-" and Zaratras watched in confusion as Monspiet doubled over with laughter.

"You're nasty," Zaratras muttered.

Elizabeth ran screaming into the castle, Derrierie hot on her heels. "Come back here, you butt slurping whore!" she screamed, as the princess flew through the courtyard, leaving a long trail of mud behind them as they are both oblivious to the chaos and destruction that surrounded them. "Help! Heeelllllllllp!" Elizabeth wailed as she ran. "Someone! Kill this woman!" she screamed, her voice full of terror, but Derrierie watches as she turns to look behind her shoulder, and she's _smiling._

"You SKANK!"

Derrierie finally reached Elizabeth, just as the Holy Knights and random collection of people standing around the castle just waiting to get obliterated by Fraudrin all turned and looked. Derrierie reached out a hand to grab her, gripping the collar of her shirt, and pulled. The shirt ripped completely in half, leaving the princess in a rather ill-fitting bra.

"That was my favorite shirt!" she wailed. "Hello, you did NOT JUST RUIN MY SHIRT!" She turned around and punched Derrierie in the stomach. The Commandment doubled over, and Elizabeth clawed at her shoulder, trying to pull off the wrappings around her chest. "What the hell is this?" she asked as her hand just slipped through them.

"It's my darkness," Derrierie wheezed. "Unlike some people, I'm not a label whore. I use my powers to make clothes."

"Oh. My. God." Elizabeth raised her eyebrows. "You can't be serious."

"See?" Derrierie yelled, kicking Elizabeth soundly in the thigh. "You were always like this. You were always making fun of me!"

Elizabeth kicked Derrierie right back. "What are you even _talking_ about? I don't even know you!"

"What?!" Derrierie growled. "You did nothing but torture me for years!" She reached out and grabbed Elizabeth's hair again, yanking hard.

Elizabeth squealed, "Oh my god, you are like obsessed with me! Are you like a lesbian or something?"

"Hey hey hey!" Jericho stepped out from the crowd of gawking onlookers, trying to step in between the girls. "Stop this! You're both acting like goddamn idiots!" One of the girls, it was impossible to tell who, scraped her right across the cheek. "Oh no no no no _NO_!" Jericho shouted, starting to throw punches and kicks at both girls, who stopped fighting each other and began to defend themselves.

"Ladies, please!" Guila shouted as she ran out from the crowd, and grabbed Elizabeth around the waist, pulling her backwards. Meanwhile, Deldrey also ran out, pulling Jericho off of Derrierie, whom she had pinned to the floor and trying to choke. Elizabeth fought wildly in Guila's grip, forcing the Holy Knight to hold her tightly by the breasts in order to keep her pressed back against her body.

All five of them were now shouting, and everyone else stood and watched in shock. "Should we… step in?" Gilthunder asked, and seven different people turned to glare at him. "Uh, no?" Howzer muttered, punching him in the arm.

"Get off of me!" Elizabeth screeched, clawing at Guila, even as Guila shouted, "Stop! That hurts!" and gave her a purple nurple. "I'll kill you!" Jericho screamed at Derrierie, trying to launch herself over Deldrey's shoulder, as Deldrey pushed her backwards by the shoulders, also yelling, "Jericho! Why are you so damn strong?!" Derrierie, meanwhile, finally began to catch her breath from getting choked, and slowly climbed to her feet.

"Fuck all you bitches!" she screamed, and threw her arms out to the side. Her demon powers surged forward, smacking into the other four ladies, and sent them all careening into a giant pool of Jell-O.

Most of their clothing all fell off too, so that they were all in nothing but bra and panty sets, except for Guila, who always went braless and commando.

Derrierie sailed into the fray, and now all five girls fought one another, scratching and biting and screaming and crying and pulling and poking and flailing and wrestling and licking and plotting and pinching and sweating and rubbing against one another and crawling and grasping and pulling and curling and throwing themselves over each other and-

" _STOP!_ " a voice rang out through the hall, and everyone, onlookers and fighters alike, froze where they were. Everyone turned and looked, and to everyone's surprise, Meliodas was there. "Well well well," he said, "I finally get up from my nap, and all hell has broken loose."

"Meliodas!" both Derrierie and Elizabeth cried, and then they both swiveled to look at one another.

"How do _you_ know him?" they asked one another at the same time.

"What do _you mean?"_ they said again, looking at each other.

"Meliodas!" Elizabeth wailed, struggling to her feet as the other girls did the same, all covering bruises and scratches as Jell-O dripped from their hair and ears and fingers and kneecaps and nipples and nostrils and hips. "I can't believe it's you!"

"Meliodas?" Derrierie exclaimed. "How do you know this girl?"

"What?!" Elizabeth snapped. "He's my boyfriend, obviously."

"Uh, no," Derrierie sneered back. "He's my boyfriend. Tell her, Meliodas."

"Yeah, Meliodas," Elizabeth shouted. "Tell her you're my boyfriend."

Meliodas looked between the two, blushing furiously. "Well, you see, uh…"

" _That's_ what they were fighting about?" Deldrey scoffed. "That tiny little shit?"

"Don't call Meliodas a shit!" Jericho yelled.

Guila rolled her eyes. "Oh, please, Jericho. Like you care about anyone but-"

"Guila! _Dooooooooon't_!" she wailed, tackling Gulia back into the jell-O, "Don't you dare! Or I'll tell everyone about that time you and Veronica-"

Gulia screeches, wrapping her legs around Jerichos waist and spins them, so her naked body is on top as she tries to smother her.

As Meliodas continued to stammer, both girls gave off a feral growl.

"MELIODAS!" the absolutely fury filled scream that rang all the way through the kingdom made everyone pale, as the two woman jump out of the pool to rush at the newly revived Dragon Sin. Elizabeth uppercuts him and Derriere goes straight for the face. They knocked him over as they roar in union, both trying to beat him to a pulp, and as he was smothered by their luscious bodies, he wheezed, blood spurting out of his noses, before passing out, "Everything has gone to total shit around here."


End file.
